Preface to Family Stress
Our mental stress caused by or emerging from the members of our family is what we call as family stress. It includes our everlasting, often repeating what-to-do worries ? Of course, a hungry monster, always swallowing our peace, smiles and inward genius. Why all this mental stress, especially from our family which must have been a heaven on earth? Those who aired our heart now seem to be heavy burdens. How many divorces at how many times! How many suicides from dejected and the frustrated! How many murders dressed in natural events! How many lonely sinking ships on the sea-shore, in the corner of park and bus stand! How many thunder and lightning in how many hearts and eyes?! Some turn into poets and philosophers but surely many undergo death-in-life.
Who is that Bloody Stress-manufacturer?
Who showers on you the stress, especially in your family? Your spouse makes you think ? ?Marriage ? betrothed in heaven or hell?? The promotion of your life-partner from unknown to the known, then to the best-known and at last to the worst-known clearly indicates the birth and the growth of your stress. Wife?s fancy and frenzy, son?s education and vacation, father?s debt and your indebtedness, grandma?s operation and your empty purse and many more such occasions switch off the light in your heart.
Reasons for Door-Lock and Keys:
1. Change Yourself and Destiny Will Change: Your likes and dislikes and your beliefs and non-beliefs conflicting with your better-half?s (?) is the main reason. You may like the growth of brain while your wife, the growth of purse. When you love to be buried into the books, your knife, sorry wife may like to sail on the waves of entertainment. Your belief in charity may be full-stopped by her serious finance policies. But both of you are destined bulls of a single cart, having no choice of running on different directions. You cannot change others but yourself. Remember everyone has to think, speak and act through his own character and knowledge in the provided (or destined) circumstances. No body will be really interested to change according to your expectations- a hard nut to crack. Adapt yourself suitable for others ? the ball is in your coat.
2. Do Rehearsal for Your Role:
You have already experienced and you know how your family members will react in particular situation. Foresee the scenes and look for your better role; have the rehearsal in your mind in advance. Mr. Stress who comes to wage a war against you will be defeated downrightly and quite unexpectedly.
3. Manage Your Money Wisely and Kill Mr. Stress:
It is a fact that unnecessary expenses leave emergency needs in hunger. Your inability to face the inevitable needs turn into stress and eventually burst out on others to balance your self-loss. Look for opportunities to raise your income sources. Strictly follow your ideal budget that cares for forthcoming expected and unexpected expenses in your family. Manage your money wisely and the weapon of Mr.Stress will become blunt.
4. Manage your Time and Say Goodbye to Mr. Stress:
Is there no timetable in your hand for your daily activities? Because you think, you are not a VIP. If so, change your attitude because your bending work makes you bend to stress and gives birth to lot of irritation and threats. Schedule your family and official duties, needs, commitments and even leisurely hours for building your own heaven and you will grow above all VIPs. You will never complaint about your dependents ? ?they don?t realize my likes and needs!? and vice versa.
5. Mr. Stress Behind the Repetition of Past Errors:
Why should we, like a host, build best nest for Mr. Stress by ignoring our past experiences and repeating the same errors? Most of the civil wars among the family members take place on the same ground and constantly breathe life to Mr. Stress. Why to repeat errors and blame destiny! Learn lessons from past errors and be the King of the Kingdom of Peace.
6. Detached Attachment- Best Stress-killer:
During mental stress, your soul may long for freedom from family ties. Renunciation is essential and recommended but in the right sense. We cannot ( and need not) go to forest like the renounced and nor can we deny or forget our moral responsibility to our blood relations and dependents. So, be water on the lotus leaf. Your wife may take you somewhere against your wish and principles, engage yourself physically and be a spectator of all dramas but inwardly detach yourself from the happenings. This is detached attachment ? a fine stress killer. You are doing this because they should not be hurt and eventually you are not hurt, no stress for you ? the right reward for your matured approach. Play your role sincerely on the stage of earth and remember that it is only acting and not real. Act, act, act until the screen drops down and the drama of life ends
7. Mr. Silence ? Immediate Stress-killer:
Practice meditation daily, reserving at least 20 minutes in the morning and evening and it will prove to be immediate stress-killer. Silence reveals our own weakness and burns all our ignorance which forms the basis for most of our stress. The more you grow peaceful, the less your stresses will be. Mr. Silence, son of Mr. Wisdom and Mrs.Perfect, will be the right person to enable you to wash out all stresses in your life permanently. Be quiet and be quite.